THOMAS LESTER ADAMS, MY DADDY

My Dad became a father for the first time when I was born.  He was overwhelmed with the responsibilities of providing, protecting or even loving all of us. He wasn't prepared mentally, emotionally or spiritually.  My Dad, who is a very sensitive man, has suppressed his feelings of inadequacy, irresponsibility and immaturity for so many years by overindulging in alcohol.  We needed so much more than he could ever think about giving.  He said he became a better man by watching us grow into loving, caring spouses, parents and adults.  Through the grace of God he was able to reach out to us and mend our fractured relationships.  While getting to know him, I've learned that we both love word search puzzles, the history channel and I have his big eyes.  My son tilts his head to his right like my Dad, brother Rod loves hunting and my sisters love camping.  You can’t mistake an Adams we all look so much alike.  My Dad has six children, fifteen grandchildren and five great-grandchildren including the great-granddaughter due in September 2009.  I watched my Dad grow into the man he was meant to be.  My Dad has become a wonderful grandfather and a doting great grandfather. My Dad has taught me that through growth you can rise above all of your past transgressions and become the best person you can be.  Although he feels he's making up for lost time, I feel that he's just on time. 

Love Ya lots, Daddy!

Usually it’s the parents that say "I've watched my children grow into outstanding adults".  However, in the case of my Dad I watched him grow from a very young, neglecting and irresponsible father into a very loving and doting grandfather and great grandfather.

My Dad returned from the Army, met and married my Mom, Katherine Louise Christian, November 19, 1960.  They were married at Mimi's home on Railroad Street, which doesn't exist anymore.  As a child I watched my parents argue and fight about a multitude of things.  Their main arguement was my Dad's drinking. When it escalated into violence, they got divorced.   I have always felt a loss when my parents split up, that something was missing.  They had joint custody, but that very seldom went well.  On occasions my Dad will show up filled with beer, a stumbling gait and slurred speech mumbling that he wants to see his kids.  The reply he always got from my Mom was “you’re drunk Tommy, go sleep it off.”  On the few times he manage to stay sober to get us, my Mom would always remind him to feed us and to not take us to any bar.  LOL, we ended up at bars that served food.

While growing up my Dad has let us down and stood us up on more occasions than I care to remember.  But he never made a promises he didn't keep.  When he made a promise he kept it, always.  As a teenager I became confused and withdrawn.  Although my Mom, Mimi and my Aunts were there to guide me every step of the way and preparing me for adulthood, I still needed my Dad.  I, as well as my sisters, needed his guidance, he needed to given us a heads up on boys and what boys thought, he should've schooled us about men, what men expected and what we should be expecting from them.  Sure I had uncles, but they were more concerned with my brothers and their lack of male guidance.  They felt that we had women in the home to teach us and get us through the rights of passage.  However, we needed our Dad's encouragement as well as let us know that we were going in the right direction and how proud he was of us.  But most of all we needed his love and affection, to know that we mattered.  As time moved on I became angrier and held so much animosity towards him because I lacked all of that.

By the time I reached my late teens my Dad had married for the third time (he always had a way with the ladies), his wife Geredine (Stevens) have a son together, Shawn.  Ms. Geri, is a wonderful, patience and very spiritual woman.  She has helped my Dad workout a lot the issues that were a hindrance to him. Ms. Geri and my Mom kept a close relationship because of us, his children.  It was important to her and my Mom that we remain close and keep in touch with each other.  These two women have unconditionally given so much of themselves, to maintain a relationship with our Dad.  My Dad had slow downed his drinking, he has joined church, became a deacon, and he has even volunteered with several children’s sports leagues. Now that my Dad is sober more often, we were able to repair our father daughter relationship. 

I graduated high school, attended college and joined the Air Force.  It was after I got married, had two children and got divorced that me and my Dad's relationship began to improve.  He was sober more often now and we were able to truly communicate.  We talked many hours about a many things, things he should've shared with me as a child, but, he didn't know how.  I’ve learned that the reason I hated my Dad are the same reasons that he despise in himself.  He has spent many years beating himself up over his own disappointments he felt as a father, and how he had let us down too many times.  As a child, his actions were unforgivable, but as an adult these same actions allowed me to listen to his heart.  It was an eye opening experience for me. 

My Dad, Thomas Lester Adams was born May 2, 1939 in Mckeesport, PA.  He is the fifth child of twelve children of Thomas Edward and Elese Brown Adams.  He grew up being one of the prankster of the Adams bunch.  He gave everyone he knew nicknames, for instance a co-worker told me that my Dad called her older brother "Pencil Neck".  She told me that she didn't know why he called him that, when I asked my Dad, he said his neck looked like a pencil and his head was the eraser.  My Dad loves the outdoors, he hunts boats and fish, he says it relaxes him, that it is very peaceful being outside with nature.